Midnight
in the midnight zone
When I think of Midnight I think of fairytales.
Growing up, I read so many folk tales and storybooks about midnight being its own type of special, mystical moment: a space of transformation; where plushies and children’s toys come alive. A time when fairies buzz in the air and mischievous creatures slink about.
Adventure happens at midnight. Magic happens at midnight. I think I sort of grew up loving midnight.
At the same time, in the words of those who study the ocean, the midnight zone signifies the darkest part of the sea. It’s something like 4000 feet deep, where not even a wisp of light can be found. A constant state of darkness, filled with strange creatures swishing and swarming about: some translucent and alien, others hungry and looking for prey.
I can’t imagine what it would be like to be down there. All alone. No flashlight (because this isn’t the twilight zone where you’re totally bioluminescent), no sparkling warning signs. Just you and your eyes peering into the dark…
Or maybe I can imagine it?
Because that’s what life feels like sometimes. Right? Midnight. You don’t know if you’ll have to face magic one day or monsters the next, or find yourself stuck in complete, unending silence.
But I suppose that’s where the true test of our courage and beliefs lie. In this sorely hidden place.
Here’s how you could deal with things, when you find yourself in the Midnight Zone:
open the magical chest
I’ve tried running away from how I feel when I’m in the Midnight Zone: in what feels like the rock bottom of my existence, the darkest well of despair— You see, I run and run and run, only to realize that I’m still suffocating with emotion. My feelings run after me and always catch up, hungrier than before, ready to devour.
Okay, so thats all very bleak and dramatic. Teehee.
But I know you know what I mean: ignoring these Midnight emotions is useless and unhelpful. They just build up, get worse, drag you deeper into the ocean. Overwhelming as they are, you have to put them down, unlock, and set them free.
This might look like a journal session, where you freely crash out, in black ink and messy cursive. This could be talking quietly to yourself about how you feel about the dark. Maybe you talk to a friend or pretend to talk to one by recording your voice (because sometimes there is no friend for us.)
Maybe that’s a prayer, or a crying session.
When the chest is open, you will begin to feel lighter.
grab a book
I’ve found that in the darkest times, it’s not always the people around me that fully understand how I feel.
It’s the people moving about in other worlds; in fictional lands that I’ve never really been to, and that sometimes I can’t pronounce.
Their misadventures, their inner turmoil, their quest for a better life, or fantastical fight for justice, rings the most true to me.
See if you can hunt down a fictional character that resonates with you. With your Midnight Zone. Reading characters overcome their obstacles, fall down and get back up, and find a way to heir happy ending, can uplift your heart!
Reading also creates a sense of calm. You can even listen to these stories, with audiobooks and podcasts! Close your eyes and laugh a little, smile, shed a few tears.
Let the stories of those faraway tales you love give you some much needed comfort. You deserve it.
Look for clues
You’ve opened the chest of emotions, and comforted yourself with something hopeful and familiar. Perhaps now is the time to look for clues.
You realize now, sitting in this unfamiliar place, where all the lights are gone (except for the small one within yourself) that you have no idea what to do next.
Maybe your first question is why is this happening? But perhaps the better question is: “What am I here for?”
Hunt down the clues! Clues that lead back to your hopes and dreams.
Ask yourself more questions like: Who can I be while I’m here? What new path can I take? Is there something trying to get my attention? Is there something new I can create? You can turn these thoughts into a vision board, a short story, a new page in your journal!
The midnight zone is like a scattered puzzle. Once you gather up the pieces, you’ll build your path home.
tell yourself a new story
You’ve thought about where you can go from here. What strengths you have that can help you get through this. Maybe you’ve finally realized you need outside help. Or maybe you need to come up with a plan. A silver lining sort of plan.
All of it requires the courage to change the narrative: to tell yourself a new story. So you do it! Maybe you have to exercise vulnerability and be the damsel in distress for once. Maybe you’ve got to be the hero and start moving forward with a shaky plan, but a plan nonetheless.
You begin to tell yourself: “I’m smarter than I think. I can do this. I’m capable. I’ll figure it out as I go along, because I’m a magical girl and thats what we do.”
Once you tell yourself a new story, flip the script, the Midnight Zone will hear it and understand that the only way your plot is moving is forward.
run towards the monsters,
strategy first
In the Midnight Zone, chances are, you find a monster in your path: it’s loud and bigger than a mountain, roaring at you with all its might.
The first thing you think is “Uh-uh. No way, bye!”
But you can’t really go back.
There’s no time machine in the midnight zone. There’s no teleporting to the past, when things were easier. There’s only here and now, and the possibility of the future.
And hey, you’ve got a plan, a new story to hold on to. So, now you need a strategy!
Maybe you trick the monster into a trap. Maybe you go in wands a-blazing with a new magnificent spell. Or maybe something amazing happens, you lead with an open heart, and the monster becomes your friend! (we love friendly misunderstood monsters).
Whatever happens, you can face this.
You see, the monsters at Midnight aren’t actually here to kill you—please, this is your Midnight Zone, you’re the main character! They’re only here to challenge your direction.
But you won’t waver. You won’t be intimidated. Because you know where you’re headed; towards the light.
So, respectfully, these monsters better get on board (and become found family <3) or get out of the way!
sit in the silence
…see if you survive it. (spoiler alert: you will!)
There will come a time, in the depths of the Midnight Zone, where a girl must sit in silence.
She must exercise patience, hold on to her faith. Yes, she must wait for the storm to pass. After all, we can’t control the weather(unless you’re a magical being who can!), we can only control ourselves.
But what about the dark, you say? If you’re shrouded in it, staring into it, well, there must be something sinister staring right back from the abyss…right?
Hey hey, none of that! It’s not your business what could be lurking, it’s only your business to stay still. So close your eyes, take a deep breath, then focus on a lovely picture in your mind.
This quiet, this dark, this new onliness-perhaps you can find inner peace within it, hear yourself think. For once.
The moment has come to stop doing and just be yourself.
Soon the sun will rise again, as it always does. And you’ll feel the warmth of familiar light on your face. The midnight zone transformed into a golden world. And who knows, maybe you’ll even miss it, just a little. Maybe, somehow, you would have made a home for yourself right there; the forever dark becoming a new kind of light.
Let’s be real, you don’t find the Midnight Zone, the Midnight Zone finds you.
Sometimes it brews something pleasant and other times it offers you a cup of truly awful. But whatever you get, I hope you find a way to see the stars shining, even though the sky is pitch black. I hope you sense that there’s light up ahead and in your heart. Growing with each step you take.
See, there’s a reason why you’re there, in this strange Midnight—not just to survive it, but to understand yourself better. To come out of it renewed, having found something truly beautiful.
Good night, love. Sleep well.
xx
Anastasia
